


Bloom with You

by bloomngbluebell



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Divorce, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, but this is a fluff after all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24463846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloomngbluebell/pseuds/bloomngbluebell
Summary: Jeon Wonwoo was facing his darkest time in life and Kim Mingyu was there to offer his hand. His cold and ignorant personality made Mingyu have to work very hard to reach him.This is the story of two people who save each other and never give up to find the true meaning of love. This is the story for those who are struggling to heal the invisible wounds in their hearts.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	Bloom with You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeon Wonwoo closed himself from the world. With his hostile character, it wasn't a hard job to find people resent him. Wonwoo was a person who didn't care about what the world was thinking of him. Despite the fact that he is a very sensitive person, deep down inside of his heart.
> 
> Kim Mingyu was a person who always radiates warmth with his presence. He can get along easily with anyone. His charm was overflowing, making him always surrounded by people who wanted to be close to him. He was never alone, but it didn't make him happy as he always felt lonely in the crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is a journey we can never expect, and everyone has their own direction. We always face difficult choices in life, and sometimes we need guidance in finding choices that are convenient for us.
> 
> The universe brought together the lives of two different people. Jeon Wonwoo and Kim Mingyu always fought for their happiness in life. Although that wasn’t an easy trip to go through, they had each other to hold on to forever.

For the first time in years, Wonwoo could finally breathe with no burden in his heart. He woke up with a plastered-on smile, sparkling eyes, and a beautiful blush on his face that made him look younger. The perfect temperature of spring and the flowers that bloomed in the season made everything even better.

His steps became lighter and his shoulders loosened as if there was a weight lifted from them. Everything was so delightful that it made him unconsciously smile from ear to ear. He even managed to greet people as he entered the office area.

His divorce decree just came out the day before. Instead of feeling sad, Wonwoo was happy for the granted result. He eventually became a free man, he could do anything he wanted and he didn't have to please anyone but himself. The smile was still wide on his face when he waited for the elevator with a group of people.

It might be weird for them to see Wonwoo in such a good mood because somehow he could feel an awkward tension from some girls who couldn't stop staring at him. He tried to shake the feelings off and enjoy his beautiful morning, but unfortunately, he had to share the same elevator with those girls. Wonwoo gave everything he had to make his mind stay on the positive side until he heard the girls whispering behind his back.

"I heard he's finally divorced now, what a waste of a pretty face."

"His husband beat him up, no wonder he wants to break free."

"No, I heard it's his husband who filed the divorce. Well, there must be something wrong with him. You know, it's him. We can't even get along with him."

_What the fuck?_

Once Wonwoo heard the conversation, he decided to throw his smile away and go back to his regular self with all the 'stay away' atmosphere radiating from his body. He entered his office with curses dropped from his lips, threw his belongings over the table, and harshly loosened his tie—not caring that it was only the beginning of the day and he would have meetings to attend. His vision was full of rage, showing how irritated he was.

His colleagues were watching the scene Wonwoo made. They stayed in silence, exchanging glances. Seokmin, Wonwoo's assistant and the youngest in the Editorial Department, gave Soonyoung a silent code to talk to Wonwoo.

Soonyoung was Wonwoo's best friend even before puberty hit them hard on the face. They've always been living and breathing in the same environment from time to time since high school. Both knew each other like the back of their hands. People could even get the wrong idea about their friendship, assuming they were dating at some point from the way they look after each other.

Soonyoung was the person that Wonwoo always relied on, especially aside from work. He was the only one to whom Wonwoo could open up about his pathetic marriage, and Soonyoung was willing to listen wholeheartedly. Moreover, Soonyoung was the one who always saved Wonwoo, letting him to sleep over at his apartment when the ex-husband kicked him out after a fight.

Soonyoung was fully aware that it was his task to talk to Wonwoo, but even though they've been best friends for years, Soonyoung was still wary of his best friend's mood swings.

"Why so grumpy?" Soonyoung carefully asked Wonwoo.

"Apparently people can't just shut up about me. They were whispering behind my back as if I couldn't hear their conversation in the middle of a packed elevator!" Wonwoo spilled out his rage in a hiss. For a brief moment, he exhaled a long breath and closed his eyes as if trying to calm his heart down, not wanting to get his colleagues affected by his mood.

"Walk with me for a moment," Soonyoung always knew what to do to calm his best friend's rage once he learned the reason behind the attitude. Wonwoo nodded, he knew where Soonyoung would take him.

Their office smoking area was one of the best spots in the building. The company grew many flowering trees that bloomed in the spring season. The flowers brought different colours from Cherry Blossom, Plum Blossom, and Golden Bell. It really gave a soothing sensation only to see the view. Wonwoo was really fond of that place and he spent at least one time out of a working day there, or whenever he sought comfort to calm the storm in his heart and mind.

Once they reached the smoking area, Wonwoo pulled out a cigarette and lit it up, followed by Soonyoung. They both sat on a bench as they enjoyed the silence.

"They said things about me and Seungcheol. Bad things, enough to make me like this," Wonwoo finally spoke, referring to his mood that Soonyoung already knew about.

"Who?"

"I don't remember their faces and never recognized them before, I also have no idea which department."

"You barely recognize anyone, Wonwoo," Soonyoung said with a derisive tone.

"I know," Wonwoo shrugged. "They said the fault is on me, Soonyoung. I'm afraid they're right about it. Seungcheol even said it many times. Maybe it's me, Soonyoung," Wonwoo continued, more seriously this time, with pain clearly plastered on his face.

"Wonwoo, the last thing I expect to hear this morning is . . . this. I really thought that you're gonna be all smiles today."

"I was! Until I heard them."

Soonyoung sucked his cigarette with a deep breath and exhaled the smoke. "Just don't think too much about it. Don't stress too much about it. You've had enough, don't you think?"

"I know. It's just—I don't know how to feel about it," Wonwoo shook his head. He already felt too tired to continue the day.

Soonyoung was the type of friend who would never leave you alone and suffering. He always wanted to help. Wonwoo always had Soonyoung as his 24/7 shoulders to lean on in the series of his miserable time. Soonyoung tried to distract Wonwoo's mind, that was at least what he could do for his best friend at the moment. He talked about work, meetings to attend that day, their upcoming tasks—basically just an alignment of work. He also didn't forget to talk about the hottest office gossip.

"A bird said to me that someone is going to join the Finance Department today. The bird also said, it's a boy and he's very handsome."

"Really? Handsome enough to distract people from my things?"

"Well, I hope so. Let's hope that he's really that handsome. I even heard that Finance girls were already stalking his social media."

"Really? That's new. Maybe we'll meet him during lunch break to prove that."

Soonyoung nodded. "As for now, let's work, yeah? We have a lot of things to do today."

Wonwoo's schedule apparently didn't let him breathe that day. When Soonyoung said about a lot of things to do, he didn't expect there would be tons of paperworks to be published for the summer, and he had to work on them between meetings in a day. But he was kind of grateful because the work could help to occupy his mind so he didn't have time to overthink something that had already finished in his personal file of marriage.

He didn't even have time for a snack or lunch, it's Seokmin who provided his lunch and persuaded him to take a break for a moment and eat. It was late in the evening when Wonwoo glances at the clock.

"Let's call it a day, Seokmin."

"Okay, boss. I think we're good for today. I'll prepare the next document to check tomorrow morning if that's okay with you?" Seokmin gave an assuring smile to Wonwoo.

"Sure. You know your things. Now let's go home," Wonwoo knew he could always trust his assistant for the job. He cleared his desk and prepared to go home.

❀❀❀

The next morning Wonwoo decided to fill his blood with a strong dose of caffeine. He was actually sleepy but he knew that he didn't have the privilege to whine about it, so he went to a coffee shop in his office building lobby.

That was the first time Wonwoo took the liberty to go there after the split from Seungcheol. He hated the place. The place reminded him a lot about his ex-husband.

Seungcheol often volunteered to fetch him at the office, especially when he had to work overtime. Sometimes when Seungcheol arrived earlier than the initial time Wonwoo had planned for him, he would wait at the coffee shop in order not to feel bored from waiting in the car.

Seungcheol even had become close to some people there. People had recognized Seungcheol as Wonwoo's husband and labelled them as the handsome couple.

To other people, Seungcheol had always been the friendly man you meet at the coffee shop. He had offered ears for those who wanted to be listened to and he had always given useful advice to people. Seungcheol had always been a very nice guy, so when people heard about the separation, Wonwoo was the one who took the blame.

People were accusing him of something that they knew nothing about.

Wonwoo had always been a petulant man for people. However, the bad rumours they spread about him really sharpened his ego, made him stab everyone who messed with him. He confronted everyone whom he thought hurt his feelings, raised their department's issues in an open meeting, and killed them in front of their supervisors.

And Wonwoo always won because he was the brain from the Editorial Department of their publishing company.

Even though he knew it was wrong to get revenge, Wonwoo was strangely relieved after doing that. He ignored the guilt as he was determined to do anything to keep people's nose out of his marriage. That attitude made no one want to talk to him except for his team.

Wonwoo took his coffee and headed for the elevator. He ran to an almost-closed elevator door, but the man inside the elevator held it for him. Wonwoo gave a small thank you just to notice that he had never seen the man before, but to quote Soonyoung, 'you barely recognize anyone, Wonwoo,' so he shrugged it off.

The day was surprisingly okay, Wonwoo could finish half of his to-do list right at lunchtime. Instead of taking lunch with his team, he surrendered to the urge to smoke. So he headed for the smoking area where he found the same person who had held his elevator door for him this morning.

Wonwoo didn't realize it before, but at that moment he could see the man was handsome and young, he was so tall even for Wonwoo, his body was toned, which matched perfectly with his honey tan skin.

The young man definitely had a good taste of fashion for the reason that he put on the newest model of a striped shirt and plain beige pants. He didn't put any products on his hair but left them parted in the right amount which perfectly framed his face.

_Wow, he's so attractive._

As Wonwoo stood beside him and lit his cigarette, he could feel that the man was a little taken aback by his appearance. Somehow Wonwoo could feel the man panicking—or was he blushing? The thought was really strange. Wonwoo was strange.

He kept taking glances at the young man, not because his face was so distractingly attractive, but because Wonwoo could feel that the latter didn't feel comfortable with his presence. Well, practically people always felt awkward about his existence, so Wonwoo decided not to drown in his thoughts of the uneasy feeling.

❀❀❀

Days after, it turned out Wonwoo's stress level really wanted to play push and pull game with his sanity. The thought of work and ex-husband were messing with his head at the same time. He tried very hard to control his anger in every meeting. He often cried at the toilet to make himself feel better and to calm his mind for a moment.

At some point, he even asked Soonyoung if he must pay a visit to his doctor. Soonyoung, being the supportive best friend he was, always told him to do whatever he needed. Soonyoung offered to be the one who took him to the doctor whenever Wonwoo felt he couldn't take it anymore.

But Wonwoo had never paid the visit. He was struggling with the deadlines as he decided that work is his highest priority for that time being, instead of his mental health.

Wonwoo didn't have time to eat lunch and it was only around half past 3 in the afternoon when he got to do it. He had been reprimanded by Seokmin for his eating habit, but in the end, Wonwoo only asked Seokmin to provide snacks at 12 p.m just to make his assistant feel less worried, then told Seokmin to grab lunch in a normal hour and never minded him. This change also made his smoking hour shifts but he never complained about it.

He enjoyed the silence in the smoking area until he saw the handsome young man from days before joining him there. Both of them smoked in silence. Wonwoo could see from the corner of his eyes that the young man was staring at the sky as he exhaled the smoke, enjoying the scenery.

The latter also looked more comfortable with his presence, which was different than before.

The next day they meet again at the smoking area at the same precise time. They stayed still in silence but Wonwoo felt so comfortable in it. It's weird. This smoking time habit of theirs went on until the next week, and by then, Wonwoo no longer needed the silence.

Somehow he could feel a bizarre urge to talk to the man. He just wanted to know who exactly was this man who had been smoking with him for the past two weeks.

"Do you always feel like smoking at this hour too?" Wonwoo asked, wanting to break the barrier this time. The latter seemed surprised by the question, but Wonwoo could see a smile plastered on his face. Not a bad idea to try to talk to a stranger, though.

"Yeah, I kind of like the view at this hour, the wind, and the perfect amount of shade. It's also the perfect time for my brain to rest. Are you feeling that too?" the young man gave a genuine canine smile with the softest smiley eyes.

"I am. It's nice being here at this hour. And the silence, though. It's just perfect."

"I couldn't agree more," he implied with an excited tone. "It's Mingyu, by the way. I'm the new guy in the Finance Department," the man offered his hand for Wonwoo to take as a polite gesture of introduction.

"I'm Wonwoo. The old man from the Editorial Department," Wonwoo said as he took the latter's hand.

"Pfffth, why do you say that? You're not that old."

"Well, this is my fourth year in this company, so I assume I'm kind of entering the fossil stage here," Wonwoo watched Mingyu laugh so hard at his joke. He couldn't believe someone was actually laughing at his joke. Soonyoung might be proud because he had always said that Wonwoo's joke is lame and somehow he believed it.

"You're so funny, Sunbaenim," Mingyu tried to control his laugh and somehow Wonwoo felt a strange warmth crawling in his chest.

Nothing like they have ever planned before, they could find each other at the smoking area at the same time for the next two weeks. After the first talk, they always had a proper conversation about their work, their assignment, the current issues in their department, and a slice of their personal lives that were started from telling each other's family names.

Wonwoo somehow felt so comfortable with his company since he never stepped on any invisible boundaries that Wonwoo built for a stranger inside his heart.

He also had to admit that he found Mingyu very enchanting. And thanks to the season, Mingyu looked even more charming with flower petals falling on the background from where he was standing at that time.

Wonwoo unconsciously admired the way he talked, the way he looked, the way he smiled, even his simple gesture of offering to light Wonwoo's cigarette. Wonwoo even missed the way Mingyu licks his lips—damn his tongue and lips.

_Fuck, what the hell am I thinking?_

Wonwoo knew that it was a very bad sign for him. He was starting to think about Mingyu the way he never expected to. That was the last thing he expected from himself. He couldn't do that for the sake of peace inside his mind and soul. He wouldn't let anyone hurt himself anymore.

He was definitely not ready for this kind of feelings, the kind he didn't even know what to name. That was the part when he decided that Kim Mingyu was not good for him.

❀❀❀

Wonwoo tried to avoid Mingyu as he started to build a huge wall inside his heart for any kind of fondness that might appear in the form of humans. He never smoked anymore and added his frequent time to cry at the toilet, anything to calm his mind, anything to make his shoulders feel lighter.

He never even had a proper meal for lunch, he only ate the snack that Seokmin prepared for him. But on that particular day, Soonyoung couldn't stand his best friend's habit anymore.

"Wonwoo, you have to grab your lunch," Soonyoung insisted.

"I'm still full, Soonyoung," Wonwoo replied lazily as his eyes never left the laptop screen.

"No, you're not. How can your stomach capacity be enough with two small pieces of bread? Don't fight me. Eat!" Soonyoung's eyes almost popped-up from its cage and Woonwoo was too tired to give any rebuttal to his best friend.

"Fine! But if we can't finish this before the deadline, it's all on you!" Wonwoo was so annoyed by the tenacious tone.

"Shut up! You eat, I'll work on it. Period," Soonyoung rolled his eyes.

Wonwoo was defeated. He glanced at the clock and it was almost 4 PM. Wonwoo sighed as he rubbed his temple and slouched down the chair to rest his head back. He decided nevertheless to drag his body to the cafeteria with a silent hope that he wouldn't see Mingyu.

❀❀❀

Wonwoo somehow was glad that he chose to listen to Soonyoung. He never thought he'd experience small happiness just because of a proper meal after a long time. He continued to eat peacefully and never realized that someone was approaching his table.

"Can I join?"

Wonwoo froze on his seat. He recognized the voice.

_Shit!_

He looked up just to find Mingyu with the softest smile reserved for him. He couldn't answer the latter's question. He only stared at his figure with a full mouth as he unconsciously stopped chewing.

"Sunbaenim?" Mingyu sounded worried and Wonwoo started to collect himself.

"Sure," he had no choice, hadn't he? Why did the universe do this to him? Why did he have to face his biggest fear for the past weeks?

_Why on earth did Mingyu have to be here in this hour, eating, instead of working?_

"Is that your lunch, Sunbae?"

"Uh . . . yes?"

"Deadline, huh? I'm facing mine too. I feel you."

Those words made Wonwoo choke.

_'I feel you'. Damn Kim Mingyu and his choice of words! Or is it my mind trying to exaggerate anything about him? What the hell is wrong with me?_

"Is that your lunch too?" Wonwoo tried to loosen up himself by creating a conversation with the man he avoided the most.

"Yeah . . . Didn't feel like having one earlier. Kind of focusing on documents and losing count of time." Mingyu shrugged his shoulders.

"I see," Wonwoo replied, feeling very uncomfortable with himself.

Wonwoo didn't know what to say anymore and he was losing appetite already. He wanted to leave Mingyu there, but he had no heart to do that. Somehow he didn't want to leave the person to eat alone. That would be sad.

"Do you quit smoking, Sunbae?" Mingyu suddenly broke the silence.

"Huh?"

"Smoking. I never see you at our perfect-time-to-smoke anymore," Mingyu asked with a concern underlying his tone and Wonwoo found it hard to breathe.

_Did he really name the time and calls it ours?! Damn, this man really drives me crazy! Can I blame my sensitive ass for this? Go fuck yourself, Jeon Wonwoo._

"No. It's just, I'm not really a smoker. You know, I just smoke whenever I feel like it or when I need some kind of . . . stress reliever?" Wonwoo trailed on his answer, he was still trying to gather himself.

"Oh, so you no longer feel stressed?"

"Not really. Well, it's more bearable because work successfully distracts me. Maybe you're the one who should stop smoking, though."

"Good for you, then. The thing is, I'm not a smoker either, Sunbae. I am just a social smoker. It's not really my habit."

"I see. Good for you too," Wonwoo nodded.

After a long silence, Wonwoo captured an awkward gesture from the man sitting in front of him. He almost gave up on the tension and brought himself to leave the table. He moved his legs, but he heard Mingyu calling his name.

"Wonwoo-sunbaenim," he felt hesitation in Mingyu's voice.

"Yes?"

"Where do you usually have dinner?"

"What?"

"Dinner. I just want to ask, do you want to have dinner with me tonight?" Mingyu exhaled a long breath with the question.

"Mingyu . . ." Wonwoo choked, he couldn't think clearly. He never expected that question coming from Mingyu.

"Ah, I know, I know. It's okay if you don't want to, Sunbae. No hard feeling, I'm sorry for asking," Mingyu said after Wonwoo left his sentence hanging in another silence, never finishing it. He might feel the hesitation in Wonwoo.

He really wanted to tell Mingyu that he was more than happy to welcome the offer. He wanted to get closer to the beautiful man. He even wanted to touch the frown on Mingyu's face at that moment.

It left a pang of guilt in his heart, knowing he was the reason that made Mingyu sad from thinking that he was turned off by Wonwoo.

He caved in his own heart, leaving all the problems behind him, and for once, he thought, he wanted to give it a shot. He wanted to feel alive after a long time. He wanted to feel wanted. And he wanted the beautiful Kim Mingyu. Thus he retreated and decided to do so.

"No, Mingyu, I was about to say 'okay'. I was just kinda taken aback because apparently, you're a very straightforward person," Wonwoo laughed, broke his own wall, and tried to melt the tension.

"Well . . . this is me," Mingyu shrugged and he continued, "but, really, Sunbae? You want to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Cool. What time will you finish?"

"I guess about 8. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect. I still have a lot of paperwork to do anyway. The deadline really kills me," Mingyu chuckled.

"Well, I feel you," Wonwoo mirrored Mingyu's tone, and the young man threw a simple smile to his words.

"Meet at the lobby?"

"Sure."

After finishing the meal, they walked back to their offices. That time somehow Wonwoo was really uncomfortable with the formal honorific call from Mingyu. He didn't even know the obvious reason why he felt very uncomfortable with the 'Sunbaenim' even when he knew that was a polite gesture from Mingyu and that was the right thing to do.

To get rid of the uneasy feeling, Wonwoo asked Mingyu to drop the 'Sunbaenim' and started to call him 'Hyung' after knowing that Wonwoo was only one year older than Mingyu.

"Really?" Mingyu was dumbfounded.

"Why not? We're gonna have dinner together anyway," Wonwoo shrugged his shoulders as they stepped in the elevator and pressed their floor button.

"But—"

"It's okay. Keep calling me Sunbaenim and I'll consider our dinner tonight as a colleague meeting," Wonwoo interrupted him, intending to make Mingyu never finish the sentence.

"No! Sunbaenim—"

"Hyung!" Wonwoo insisted.

"Hyung," Mingyu resigned.

"Glad to hear it. See you, Mingyu," Wonwoo smiled at him before walking out from the elevator, leaving Mingyu and his canine smile for the office.

❀❀❀

Wonwoo was really immersed in his works and didn't let anyone disturb him, even Seokmin and Soonyoung. He told them not to mind him and to feel free to leave after they finished. Wonwoo awfully wanted to finish work before the promised time.

He went from one paperwork to another, focused on proofreading while occasionally glancing at the clock. It was really hard for him to maintain focus during the last 30 minutes before the date, as he knew he still had one document to go through to finish his to-do list.

Even with a dinner with the handsome young man waiting, he was still that ambitious man from the Editorial Department. Eventually, he made it, successfully finished that day's work even though he had to make Mingyu wait for fifteen minutes.

"Sunbae—Hyung! You're here," Mingyu corrected his words right away and Wonwoo couldn't help but smile at the scene.

"Of course I'm here. What do you mean?" pure confusion was written on Wonwoo's face.

"I thought that you were bailing on me, that you forgot or something," Mingyu smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, Mingyu. Sorry I made you wait. I'm just finished with work."

"No sweat, hyung. So, where do you usually have dinner? You haven't answered that."

Wonwoo hesitated for a moment, thinking about any nearby restaurant in his dictionary, and had no choice but to tell Mingyu the truth.

"I . . . um . . . Mingyu . . . to tell you the truth, I never eat dinner," he faltered, looking at anywhere but the latter's eyes.

"Huh? No way. It's not healthy, hyung."

"I know, but I prefer heading home to sleep."

"Not tonight, though. You agreed to my offer," Mingyu grinned and Wonwoo almost slapped his face for that stupidly cute expression.

"Yeah . . . well, do you have a place in mind?" Wonwoo gave the liberty to Mingyu as he couldn't think of any place. It was Mingyu's invitation anyway. Mingyu then fell into thinking with an unreadable expression.

"Hyung, I want to offer you something, but you can say no if you feel uncomfortable," Mingyu hesitated for a moment. "To be honest, I've never had dinner outside. I always cook for my dinner. If you want, we can buy ingredients from the nearby store to cook at my place. But if you're not okay with that, just give me more time to think about where to eat," he bashfully continued, avoiding Wonwoo's eyes.

_Cute._

Wonwoo really didn't know how to stop himself from falling to Mingyu and his gesture. Seungcheol once gave this feeling to him, but there was always something different about Mingyu that he couldn't decipher. A brand new enigma for Wonwoo.

"I have no problem with that. As long as you're not a serial killer. But if you do, you'll be a fugitive by tomorrow," Wonwoo said with a poker face, teasing Mingyu.

"Believe me hyung, if I want to do a crime to you, the most possible thing to come is to kidnap you," Wonwoo froze to the answer. He could feel blood running to his face to form a blush.

"I'm just messing with you," Mingyu laughed and playfully hit Wonwoo's shoulder. "Let's buy the food first," he started heading out from the office and Wonwoo followed behind him.

They ended up shopping for groceries at a store 30 minutes' drive from Mingyu's apartment. Wonwoo never expected that Mingyu's apartment would be the total epitome of his personality. His apartment had a modern minimalist design, with clean and crisp lines over it that really depict the style of his apartment.

Wonwoo was greeted by Mingyu's vibe all over the place as he entered the apartment. It was very masculine and calming at the same time, bringing some weird feeling into his chest that made him smile unconsciously. Mingyu had such a big grey sofa in his living room that made Wonwoo wonder why he needed it to be that big. He sometimes forgot that the younger was really that big and tall.

Wonwoo also noticed the photos of buildings and nature were displayed on the wall. They were photographed in monochrome that suits the room perfectly. Mingyu definitely got style and Wonwoo suddenly felt so self-conscious.

They started to work in the kitchen with a little force from Wonwoo because Mingyu refused his offer to help. Mingyu asked him to make himself at home and waited patiently for the meal instead, and of course, Wonwoo wouldn't comply.

He helped with the ingredients as much as he could do. Wonwoo secretly watched how Mingyu gracefully chopped the ingredients and put them into the pan.

_Oh, he's left-handed. New fact._

Wonwoo never thought that a left-handed person would be that effortlessly attractive when cooking. He unintentionally gulped many times at the view.

"Mingyu, this is so delicious!" he became limp from the satisfying taste of Mingyu's _doenjang-jjigae _. Wonwoo was amazed at his cooking skill.__

"Really? I don't think the taste is that good, though."

"Are you kidding?! This is even better from one I had in that so-called Five-Star Korean dining."

"Okay, that's really a biased opinion," Mingyu said as he laughed the sweetest laugh to Wonwoo's ear.

"I'm telling you the truth and you push me away," Wonwoo said with a sulky voice.

"Okay, okay. Well, thank you for the compliment, Sir!" Mingyu's smile never really left his face. "Anyway hyung, If you want, I can really make you dinner every day, you know. You only need to warm it up at home later."

Wonwoo was surprised at the offer and he looked at the younger with rounded eyes. "No, Mingyu. You can't offer me that. You know what I am gonna say."

"It's okay, hyung. I literally cook every morning. So I can do that for you."

"Mingyu . . ." Wonwoo stared at Mingyu with a bored and tired expression as if it was a clue for Mingyu to stop pushing it. Mingyu nodded lazily, a sign of defeat.

"Anyway, I've been meaning to ask from the moment I saw them, is that you who took the picture?" Wonwoo pointed at the pictures on the wall with his chin.

Mingyu followed the direction and chuckled. "Yeah, not long ago. Photography is kinda my hobby. So rather than let them be wasted, I decided to print and hang them there. Are they so bad?"

"Wow! No, it's actually very good. And I was right, so you're the photographer," Wonwoo smiled. He couldn't believe Mingyu successfully made him fall even deeper into his charm. This made Wonwoo feel scared yet intrigued at the same time. "I like to be surprised and you've surprised me with a lot of things today, Mingyu," he finally let it out, gaining blushes on the younger's cheeks.

❀❀❀

Wonwoo couldn't hold his smile the next morning. He was grinning ear to ear whenever he recalled the scene from dinner with Mingyu the night before. He knew he had to throw this feeling out of the window sooner or later, but he decided to hold a little longer to this excitement before letting it go—before he let Mingyu go.

_A person like me couldn't have a person like Mingyu. That would be a crime to the bachelor's world._

Wonwoo kept reminding himself to prevent another hope that led to a broken heart. He barely survived his divorce. It was still giving him a panic attack here and there every time he remembered about his marriage. He had loved Seungcheol with his life, and the way everything had fallen apart left him with a scar that never could be mend. He'd had enough trouble on his own to deal with and in no way is he going to include his fondness for Mingyu in the agenda—enough with catching feelings. He had to leave the tiny spot of happiness that is Mingyu.

With his mind occupied by many thoughts and contemplations, he didn't realize that his feet walked in autopilot to the office. As he entered the office building, his phone rang. It was a call from Mingyu. Hesitation came right through his mind as he considered whether to answer or to reject the call. He had given Mingyu his phone number last night because the latter had insisted after Wonwoo rejected his offer to drive him home. Their home was only fifteen minutes apart after all. And Wonwoo hadn't wanted to give another burden to Mingyu and he had taken himself home.

Wonwoo tried to remember if he left any of his belongings at Mingyu's apartment. He failed to remember any and decided to answer the call for the last time before disappearing like a cloud of dust from Mingyu.

"Hi, Mingyu."

_"Wonwoo hyung? Are you sick?"_

"No. Why?"

_"Nothing. Just . . . your voice. I thought you're sick. Anyway hyung, where are you? Have you arrived at the office?"_

"I'm just entering the lobby. Why?"

_"Good. Can you meet me at the smoking area? I want to give you something."_

Wonwoo couldn't bring himself to answer the question. He didn't know what to do. It's only in the morning but his heart already had to take so much emotion. If only anything would be easier in his life.

One last time.

He sighed before answering Mingyu.

"Ok. I'm heading there right now."

_"Cool. See you, hyung!"_

The moment Wonwoo saw Mingyu, all the fear, hesitation, and contemplation were washed away from his heart. He was happy to see the younger smiling and welcoming his presence. Wonwoo couldn't stop himself from smiling at Mingyu.

"Good morning, hyung," Mingyu greeted him with a canine smile which Wonwoo was fond of.

"Good morning, Mingyu. What is it? Did I forget something last night?" Wonwoo tried to say it as cold as possible, but he knew he already failed miserably.

"No, it's nothing, hyung. I just—I wanna thank you again for dinner."

"Mingyu, it is me who should thank you. You cooked for me and it was so, so good. So, thank you."

"No problem, hyung," Mingyu said sheepishly, stroking the back of his neck.

Wonwoo tried to give his sweetest smile to Mingyu. "Is that all?"

"Not really. Um . . . but first . . . hyung, promise me you won't be mad," Mingyu looked everything except for Wonwoo's eyes and made the older man wonder what that was all about.

"Huh? What is it? And why would I get mad?"

"Just promise." Mingyu was persistent and Wonwoo was annoyed, but Mingyu was lucky Wonwoo was the one who caught feelings for him first from the very beginning when he laid his eyes on the younger.

"Fine! I promise!" Wonwoo rolled his eyes.

Mingyu took out a lunchbox from his bag and gave it to Wonwoo. The older man was dumbfounded, he just stood there and did nothing but staring at Mingyu. Wonwoo felt something in his chest he hadn't felt for so, so long. "Mingyu . . . I—"

"You promised not to get mad," Mingyu said before Wonwoo could finish his sentence.

"I'm not. How could I? But why, Mingyu?" said Wonwoo, while taking the lunchbox. He didn't have the heart to reject Mingyu and imagined his effort to cook the dishes in the morning.

"Because like I told you yesterday, I always cook every morning anyway. I cooked it for our dinner. I know you prefer coffee over breakfast. That's fine, that might be normal for some people including you, but please at least you must have dinner." Mingyu started blabbering, and Wonwoo knew this was his way to make Wonwoo feel less annoyed, or even angry.

_Mingyu, how could I be angry? What are you thinking? How could you be so stupid?_

Instead of voicing his thoughts out, Wonwoo chose to say, "I can't believe you really do it. Thank you, Mingyu."

"My pleasure, hyung," Mingyu said with a big goofy smile plastered on his face.

❀❀❀

Wonwoo was doomed. He did a terrible job of avoiding Mingyu. Every time Mingyu asked him to hang out, he would always say yes. He reserved a soft place in his heart for Mingyu, the man always treated him right. He made Wonwoo feel something inside his heart and there was almost a butterfly flying inside his stomach.

Shakespeare once said, "love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind", and Wonwoo was fully aware of what he was dealing with. No matter how hard he tried to deny Mingyu, the younger always gave more reason for Wonwoo to fall for him.

Mingyu even successfully made him open up about Seungcheol. Wonwoo told all of his stories with Seungcheol to Mingyu.

Wonwoo checked on Mingyu's expression many times, wondering if he said something wrong that might have made the latter uncomfortable, but Mingyu only gave him an indecipherable expression and kept listening to the story.

Mingyu sometimes implied with his thoughts, he noticed that what Wonwoo experienced was both physical and abusive, and that Seungcheol could be sued if Wonwoo wanted to. And Wonwoo told him the reason he didn't do that.

He just wanted a peaceful goodbye from Seungcheol, and no matter how hard Seungcheol had hurt him, he couldn't stop himself but to remember the feeling of falling in love with Seungcheol, reminiscing all good times with his ex-husband. Wonwoo told Mingyu he had forgiven Seungcheol and was ready to continue his life, and how he tried to close the book of his marriage, and even if it wasn't a complete mission yet, he would always try for himself.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You already know the most vulnerable version of me. Just shoot. It couldn't be worst "

Mingyu played with his food, he looked like he had already lost his appetite. "When you said you were trying to heal for yourself, what kind of healing did you talk about?"

Wonwoo stopped chewing immediately. He tried to finish the food inside his mouth in a single gulp. His throat felt very dry. "I . . . well, after going through all that, it seemed like I lost my sanity. On one hand, I didn't want my marriage to end, but on the other hand, I really wanted to leave Seungcheol. After deciding to follow Seungcheol's eagerness to divorce, no matter how much I reminded myself to be strong, I couldn't. I kept falling and falling apart. I lost a piece of my heart and it hurt like hell. I felt like I've lost my way. I often experienced panic attacks, I had acute insomnia, I got scared and cried every time I heard a scream."

"Only that?" Mingyu carefully asked the question, as if he knew it wasn't the worst of Wonwoo yet. Wonwoo could feel how Mingyu tried to maintain a very calm tone, quietly wondering if the younger was ready to hear whatever answer he would give.

"I . . ." Wonwoo sighed, he hesitated whether he should tell the truth to Mingyu without having a fear of being judged. But if that happened, maybe it was the best chance to leave Mingyu for good. Wonwoo knew that sooner or later this had to happen, so he decided to tell Mingyu his darkest secret. "I committed suicide. There was a pain in my chest that wouldn't go away and I wasn't strong enough to bear the pain. I was trying to drown myself but I stopped when I did it. I was too afraid to do it but I also wasn't strong enough to take everything that I felt at the time."

Wonwoo prepared himself for the worst. He was ready if Mingyu wanted to leave him after all the revealed truth. But what he found was the last thing he could've thought of—Mingyu was holding his hand and gently stroking his knuckles, giving him a sense of assurance. "Do you ever want to do it again?"

Wonwoo shook his head. "Soonyoung took me to visit a doctor after I told him everything. I've been treated for months. They gave me prescriptions for my anxiety and insomnia. I kept trying to heal myself for one year after Seungcheol threw me away. I haven't been seeing the doctor for some time now, but sometimes I still use some of the medicine whenever I have a panic attack.

Wonwoo couldn't bring himself to look Mingyu in the eyes as he poured his heart out. He was too scared to find out what lies in Mingyu's eyes, too scared if Mingyu was disgusted with him.

After a long silence, Mingyu gently raised his chin and looked straight into his eyes. "You don't deserve all of that. You know that, right? Wonwoo, for me you're a great person and you have the most beautiful soul. When you told me all of this, I couldn't help but think what the hell was wrong with your ex-husband to waste you like that."

"Have you ever thought that maybe it was me? Maybe it was something wrong with me that triggered him to do that?" asked Wonwoo. Although his voice was getting weaker, he never left his gaze from Mingyu.

"Did Seungcheol say that to you?" Mingyu asked, but Wonwoo only kept his mouth in silence. He clearly remembered how Seungcheol always accused him of many terrible things that happened in their marriage.

Mingyu sighed heavily. He tightened his grip on Wonwoo's hand as if he didn't want to let go. "If there really was something wrong with you, did it give Seungcheol every right to hit you? To abuse you both verbally and physically? If he really loved you like a husband who should have taken care of you until his last breath and devoted his life to you, shouldn't he have given all his strength to help you? To pull you out from the dark and to hold your hands when you needed it the most?"

Wonwoo only kept his lips closed and averted his eyes from Mingyu. Mingyu was right, even his heart said so. The doctor and everyone else also had said the same thing, but apparently, Seungcheol's words had been embedded in Wonwoo's head for a long time and it was too hard for him not to blame himself.

He had heard the words from his doctor, friends, and parents, but Wonwoo never felt devastatingly sad like when he heard Mingyu say it.

"Hyung, look at me," Wonwoo could hear both dejection and determination in Mingyu's voice. This made Wonwoo not want to fight him. Mingyu was willing to listen to his story wholeheartedly and that was enough. That night wasn't just about Wonwoo. He slowly returned his gaze to Mingyu.

"There _was _nothing wrong with you. There _is _nothing wrong with you. There _will _be nothing wrong with you, Jeon Wonwoo. You are a wonderful person and you have to remember that. Always," Mingyu continued with sincerity, still wrapping Wonwoo's hand in his and stared deeply through the orbs of Wonwoo's eyes.______

The words gave a warm feeling creeping in Wonwoo's heart which made him smile a sincere smile and firmly grasped the younger's hand in return. "Thank you, Mingyu."

Wonwoo hesitated for a moment, contemplating how far he would expose himself to Mingyu that night. Something in Mingyu's eyes told Wonwoo to believe in him. Wonwoo was a person who always struggled to open himself to others, not even to his parents and best friend.

That night, however, was different. He wanted Mingyu to know everything about him, even his darkest story. If Mingyu really had to leave, it would be best from the beginning before Wonwoo fell even deeper in Mingyu's heart.

"I actually became a workaholic because of this. I try to fill my head with things that won't make me sad or defeated," Wonwoo said, breaking their comfort silence just to expose himself even more. He pushed himself to think that he had nothing to lose.

"I know, hyung. Not everyone can work like you, and I know for sure you have a reason for that," Mingyu smiled and held Wonwoo's hand tighter as if he didn't want to let go.

"This makes me sometimes overwhelmed about everything, Mingyu. I even have to run to the nearest toilet just to cope with the panic attack that comes whenever my mind decides to trick me. I couldn't even control it yet. I'm still trying. The voices won't stop whispering words and I'm going crazy because of that. I am that pathetic. You just have no idea, Mingyu."

"Wonwoo-hyung, I might have the slightest idea about what you have inside you right now, but I'm pretty sure what you need right now is love to yourself. I know it's hard after what your ex-husband did to you, but as you said, you have to try, okay? Don't give up on yourself. Not yet. Whenever you feel tired of trying, just remember that you're loved. Remember the people around you that will be sad if you're gone. Take your time to love yourself, okay hyung?"

Wonwoo just stayed quiet for a moment, he couldn't believe that after everything he said, Mingyu chose those comforting words. "You are amazing, Mingyu. Other people would have judged me in any way. But you chose to assume that I must have a reason, without giving judgment to me. When you said I am a great person, it is literally you who are "

"Hyung, I'm also human. I'm not perfect. Why would I judge other people's imperfections when I'm also not perfect?"

Wonwoo smiled sweetly at those words while returning Mingyu's grasp. "Tell me about yourself, then. Tell me about your imperfectness."

Wonwoo listened to the life story of Kim Mingyu attentively. Mingyu was actually a spoiled boy. He had never been single for a long time and that was the longest time for Mingyu to become single and it had only been a year.

He chose to be single because he wanted to find himself first before he decided to open his heart for another lover. He wanted the next one to become his last one. Marriage wasn't something that Mingyu was afraid of, commitment never made him scared. Mingyu was literally the opposite of Wonwoo.

Wonwoo admired how Mingyu determined to learn from his mistakes in his past relationships. The taller man realized how spoiled and dependent he was. Mingyu had become aware of the fact that he was very possessive of his partner and treated them like his property. He hadn't even liked it when his partner wanted to hang out with his friends without him.

Mingyu was always afraid of missing out. All of his past lovers couldn't stand his nature of being clingy, and he had repeatedly broken up for the same reason. At some point in his life, Mingyu had decided to stop seeking comfort from another person, and instead, he had been trying to find happiness with himself.

Wonwoo learned that night it wasn't only Wonwoo who must learn to love himself, Mingyu was doing the same thing. That night really was a very hard night for Wonwoo because he not only had to open himself, but Wonwoo also had to understand how Mingyu coped with his emotion.

The fact that they were both fragile somehow made Wonwoo fall even deeper into Mingyu. The handsome perfect man whom he had been admiring turned out to have a dark side, making Wonwoo felt like he was not alone.

❀❀❀

They continued to see each other for the next 2 weeks. Mingyu never gave up. No matter how hard Wonwoo tried to avoid Mingyu and rejected his offer or turned him down, the younger always found a way to meet him after office.

That one night Wonwoo received a text from the younger man, asking him to go to a bookstore together after office. A bookstore. Mingyu even knew his weakness. However, Wonwoo refused the offer, telling him that he would work overtime.

Wonwoo had been so workaholic to the point where Mingyu almost gave up waiting for him at the lobby to finish work just to drive him home and make sure the older man was safe. Wonwoo didn't have the heart to reject the offer knowing that Mingyu might just spend his time waiting for Wonwoo without bothering to text him beforehand. And Wonwoo desperately had the softest spot in his heart for Mingyu no matter how hard he pushed him.

That day Wonwoo had to work until 11 p.m, he even asked his team to head home before him, they didn't need to wait for him to finish. He had just exited the lobby and found Mingyu standing beside his parked car outside the lobby entrance. The taller man gave his warmest smile.

Wonwoo shook his head in disbelief followed by a sweet smile from his lips. Mingyu offered to drive Wonwoo home and invited Wonwoo to get in his car after Mingyu insisted he would not accept any rejection from Wonwoo.

Wonwoo felt Mingyu's presence beside him was very soothing after a day of struggling with his responsibilities at the office. For a couple of times, Wonwoo tried to steal a glance of Mingyu in the driver's seat.

Wonwoo's mind was observing how Mingyu's hands looked so strong to support his helpless soul, as Mingyu's chest looked so wide which made Wonwoo think how comfortable it was for him to lean his head to relieve his anxiety. Mingyu was the one who always found a way to reach him.

"Hyung, I want to ask permission from you," Mingyu's voice pulled Wonwoo out of his deep thoughts.

"To?" Wonwoo asked in confusion.

"Drive you home if you have to work overtime."

"Mingyu, what for? It means you will come home late too."

"For my peace of mind. I know that you're a grown-up man and this isn't your first time working overtime. But as a friend, I'm worried about you. I thank you because you already followed my suggestion on your diet. It makes me feel a little relieved to know that you're healthier than before, but I'm still worried. So Wonwoo-hyung, may I take you home every time you have to work overtime?"

"Mingyu . . ."

"Please, hyung? If you feel bad about me, just please keep in your mind that I'm doing it for my peace of mind, not for you."

"But it really isn't for you, right?"

"Hyung, please. Just say yes, ok? Won't do you any harm, though."

"Okay, okay. You'll never stop until I say yes anyway," Wonwoo smiled. Mingyu didn't need to know that Wonwoo had no intention to reject the offer from the beginning.

"Great. You already know me, hyung," Mingyu said with a soft smile from his lips.

The 15-minute drive to Wonwoo's apartment felt even shorter than it was supposed to be. Wonwoo actually didn't want to be separated from Mingyu yet but his body betrayed him, he felt so drained and the urge to lie down was craving inside him.

"Mingyu, thank you," Wonwoo said as he unbuckled the seat belt.

"You're welcome, hyung. Get some rest, yeah?"

Wonwoo didn't answer. He just nodded, as he continued, "Thank you not only for this, but thank you for everything, Mingyu. I want to invite you for dinner sometime, okay? Please at least let me express my gratitude to you and you can't say no," Wonwoo managed to sound persistent.

"Hahaha, you know I was gonna say no, huh? Okay then, let's have dinner sometime, hyung. Thank you," Mingyu said with the softest expression on his face.

"Goodnight, Mingyu," Wonwoo bid his goodbye for that night to Mingyu, and a strange feeling invaded his chest.

"Goodnight, Wonwoo hyung," Mingyu sent him with a wistful smile as if he didn't want to let Wonwoo go.

❀❀❀

The next morning Wonwoo woke up with a headache and tight chest. His nose was also blocked which made him unable to breathe properly. As if he hadn't suffered enough, a throbbing pain was striking when he tried to lift his head. Wonwoo winced as he clutched his head, he couldn't stand the pain, and retreated the will to move his body from the bed.

In an autopilot move, he took a thermometer from the nightstand and checked his body temperature. It was thirty-eight degrees then he understood the reason why his body was shivering.

Wonwoo realized that his body had been strangely weak for the past 3 days. But he had an important deadline of the summer project, thus he forced himself to work. The deadline was already submitted the night before so he thought it would be fine if he took an absence from the office just for one day to recover himself.

Wonwoo contacted his supervisor to call in sick before he called Soonyoung to notify him of his absence, hence Soonyoung should cover for Wonwoo. Soonyoung switched their conversation into best friend manner and told him not to skip meals and to take the medicine.

Soonyoung also said that he would come to check on him after the office hour but Wonwoo told his best friend that he actually preferred Soonyoung to stay at the office and finish their work than to look after him.

If Soonyoung didn't finish their work, it might cause his head to spin even faster and his body getting more ill, thinking how the work couldn't be completed because Soonyoung, his co-worker and best friend, was taking care of him.

Soonyoung was confined and said he would try to finish the paperwork that day. After hanging up the phone, Wonwoo chose to go back to sleep rather than eat as he really needed to ease the pain.

Wonwoo was awakened by the sound of his phone. It was ringing so loud from an incoming call notification. Wonwoo squinted his eyes to make a clear vision for the caller ID and the name Kim Mingyu appeared on the screen. Wonwoo sighed and picked up the call.

"Hi Mingyu."

_"Hyung, where are you? Have you had lunch? You are still at your office, aren't you? Let's have lunch together. Don't work yourself too hard, you should care about your health, you know."_

Mingyu didn't stop talking once Wonwoo picked up the phone. If Wonwoo had not been sick at that time, it would have created a smile on his face—given how worried Mingyu was about him—and not added pain to his head.

"I'm sick, Mingyu. I didn't come to work. Sorry for not telling you before, I've just woken up again because of this call from you," Wonwoo replied with a hoarse voice coming from his throat. The conversation about lunch made him glance at the clock, it was already 12:30 p.m.

_"Oh? I'm sorry, hyung. I didn't mean to disrupt your rest," Mingyu said, Wonwoo knew there was guilt implied in his voice._

"It's okay, Mingyu. I know you don't mean to."

_"What do you feel? Is it serious?"_

"No, I'm okay. I just got really dizzy," Wonwoo simplified the symptoms so the latter could stop his concern for him.

There was a brief silence. Wonwoo knew Mingyu was planning on something. He couldn't fathom how he got the feeling, but he just knew. And his feeling was right.

_"Hyung, please give me your apartment number."_

"Wha—what for? What are you going to do?" Wonwoo answered immediately in panic, he already knew where Mingyu's question was headed.

_"Hyung, please. I want to help. You know I can't leave you in sickness alone, especially knowing that I could help."_

"Mingyu, it's just a cold, I'm not dying. Thank you, but I can take care of myself. You don't have to come. I will get over it."

There was a long silence from Mingyu that made Wonwoo have to check if the latter already ended the line, but the screen showed that the call was still active. Mingyu was thinking. Again.

"Mingyu?"

_"Tell me your apartment number or I'll ask Soonyoung."_

"Wh—what?"

_"You heard me. You know I would ask him myself, hyung. I'm not bluffing."_

Wonwoo eventually gave in to how persistent Mingyu was and he told the younger man his apartment number. Wonwoo was well aware that Mingyu tried to pull a mind trick on him. Mingyu must have realized that Wonwoo still covered up whatever relationship they had from Soonyoung.

Not that Wonwoo wanted to hide Mingyu from the world, he was just not ready if his best friend and all his colleagues knew about them. Furthermore, there was still no clarity to label their relationship anyway.

What were they? Friends? Or were there any other hopes in his heart that even himself hadn't noticed. It's all too complicated for Wonwoo. And he was only trying to protect himself from the world, including from Mingyu.

Wonwoo thought that Mingyu would visit him after work, so he did not expect that he would be awakened by the sound of the bell from his apartment door, not long after he returned to take a nap. The moment Wonwoo opened the door, he was really surprised when he saw the man standing in front of him.

"Hyung! Oh my God, are you sure it's just a cold?" Mingyu almost shouted while putting his hand immediately on Wonwoo's forehead. "Hyung, you're burning!"

Wonwoo flinched because of Mingyu's touch which felt unusually cold on his skin.

"Sorry, Hyung. I didn't mean to be presumptuous. It's just . . . you look very pale and weak, I'm—I'm so worried," Mingyu conveyed, sincerity reflected on his face.

"No, it's okay Mingyu. I just—what are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?"

"I'm not in a good mood for work and you make the perfect reason for me to go home," Mingyu shrugged as he sent out his enchanting puppy eyes.

_Damn those puppy eyes for always making me weak._

"Mingyu, I—"

"Hyung, can we talk about this later after I cook our lunch? I'm starving," Mingyu interrupted impatiently.

Wonwoo noticed there were plastic bags in his hands. The view moved his heart to open the door wider without any resistance, inviting Mingyu to come inside

"You _really _want to cook?" Wonwoo asked weakly when he was closing the door behind them.__

"Yes . . . if you allow me to. I already bought the ingredients though."

Wonwoo smiled at Mingyu, shook his head in disbelief, forgetting the headache. He tried to gain strength to give a simple apartment tour for Mingyu. Wonwoo showed Mingyu the kitchen and explained a little about the equipment.

"Please make yourself at home, Mingyu."

Those were the exact words Wonwoo said before another wave of dizziness suddenly washed over him and made his body weary. He sat by the dinner table, holding his head in his hands as the pain intensified.

"Hyung, you _really _need to lay down. Which medicine did you already take?"__

"I didn't take any yet," Wonwoo muttered under his breath.

Mingyu exhaled a long breath. "How about food? Did you eat anything?"

"Not yet," Wonwoo answered shortly. He couldn't bring himself to see the look on Mingyu's face. He was too tired and weak to be scolded.

"Will you listen to me and do something for me, hyung?" Mingyu asked with an unexpected soft tone.

"What?"

"Take me to your bedroom. And don't ask anything. Just do it, please? And let's be quick so I won't make you feel more dizzy with my requests."

Wonwoo nodded slightly. He lifted his body and led Mingyu to his room. The awkward silence was filling the atmosphere but Wonwoo couldn't careless. The pain inside his head was almost unbearable.

"Please lie down and wait for me, hyung," Mingyu demanded once they reached Wonwoo's bedroom.

Wonwoo was actually confused about his behavior, he decided nevertheless not to think too much about it. He closed his eyes and hoped the pain would go away. Five minutes later he was awakened by something cold that suddenly touched his forehead.

"I dip a towel in cold water and use it to help lower your body temperature, hyung," Mingyu said gently as he sits at the edge of the bed.

Their position was really awkward for Wonwoo, but it seemed Mingyu didn't feel the same. The latter was staring at Wonwoo with a tender gaze.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Wonwoo croaked.

"I know. But I want to help as much as I can." Mingyu simply replied.

"You're unbelievable."

"Haven't you noticed?" Mingyu raised his eyebrows.

"Did Joshua just let you go _that_ easy?" Wonwoo chuckled. Joshua was Mingyu's supervisor and he knew how strict Joshua was.

"He _did _.__ Odd, isn't it? Maybe I am destined to take care of you right now," Mingyu said with a big canine smile on his face which made Wonwoo forget how to breathe properly when he was already sick.

Wonwoo only closed his mouth and smiled when he heard the words. He was holding back all the sweet words and gratitude he wanted to say to Mingyu.

After a couple of minutes that felt like forever for Wonwoo, Mingyu took the towel from his forehead and dipped it back in a bucket of cold water. Then Mingyu wrung the damped towel before placing it back on his forehead.

"I need to cook our lunch for now. Just try to sleep and I'll wake you up when the food is ready, okay?" Mingyu caressed his cheek and made Wonwoo lulled by his gaze. It had been a while for Wonwoo not to feel a spark in his heart.

"Okay," Wonwoo quietly replied and Mingyu left the room with a smile.

Wonwoo couldn't sleep, he just stared at the ceiling. He still couldn't believe that Kim Mingyu was in his kitchen and he was cooking their lunch. Kim Mingyu was taking care of him, and tried patiently to make him feel better. Kim Mingyu was worried about his health.

Something strange was striking his heart. Something that he couldn't decipher and suddenly he was fighting the urge to cry. He remembered. He remembered that the last time he received such attention was when he was sick at the beginning of his marriage with Seungcheol. His ex-husband was even absent from the office just to take care of him. Just like what Mingyu did.

Beginning. Everything good only happened at the beginning. Happiness, smile, and laughter only happened at the beginning.

_Nothing lasts forever._

Suddenly his chest felt utterly tight. He hated the fact that he couldn't stop himself from thinking about Seungcheol. He hated the fact that he couldn't push Mingyu out of his life. He hated the world that had never been a peaceful place for him.

For Wonwoo, forgive-and-forget had never been an easy job to do. He did the forgive part, but he tended to keep all problems inside his heart and never actually forgot about it, creating a time bomb of insecurity. And yet, apparently destiny loved to dance chaotically with his mind.

The circumstances had always put him on the hardest choice of life, which made him almost lose his mind. His love for Seungcheol had made him choose to stop fighting for their marriage because they only hurt each other, eventually the divorce was inevitable.

As for Mingyu, Wonwoo needed him to leave, no matter how tender Mingyu had touched his heart and no matter his heart screamed for more. Wonwoo wanted everything to disappear. He was so tired. He was so tired of fighting a losing battle. He was so tired of living.

Wonwoo was so immersed in his feelings that he didn't realize Mingyu was entering the room. Mingyu sat on the edge of his bed and he took the towel from his forehead, repeating the previous movement to re-cool the towel.

Wonwoo was unconsciously staring at Mingyu's face. Wonwoo didn't realize the expression he put on his face until he saw concern plastered on Mingyu's face.

"Hyung, are you crying? Is it that bad?"

Wonwoo touched his cheek and he could feel warm liquid on his finger. He didn't realize he was crying.

"I'm fine, Mingyu," Wonwoo said as he wiped away the tears.

"Hyung, why don't you call me earlier? Tell me, what _exactly_ do you feel right now?"

Wonwoo couldn't answer the question, words stuck in his throat. He really wanted Mingyu to leave, he couldn't afford to be in the same room as Mingyu. He didn't even care about the fact that he needed Mingyu's presence to take care of him.

Mingyu, who seemed to read his hesitation, only gave a simple smile and said, "Well, it doesn't matter. The important thing is I'm here for you right now." Mingyu reached his hand and softly stroked his knuckle. "The food is almost ready. Wait a little bit, yeah?"

Wonwoo only gave a silent nod as the answer and Mingyu firmly gripped his hand one last time before leaving the room.

Ten minutes later Mingyu entered his room to tell him the food was ready. Mingyu offered to bring the lunch to bed, but Wonwoo refused and prefered to eat at the dinner table.

"I cooked chicken soup and your favorite _doenjang-jjigae _.__ I also made _kimbap_ , just in case you can't eat much rice," Mingyu said while helping Wonwoo with a bowl. "Let's dig in!"

Wonwoo took a little bit of _doenjang-jjigae_ to this bowl. Mingyu was right, it was his favorite dish but only if Mingyu cooked it for him.

Mingyu's cooking really brought back his appetite that had been lost to his bitter tongue. Wonwoo believed Mingyu should be able to open his own restaurant with this level of cooking. Mingyu's cooking even tasted like home which made Wonwoo suddenly miss his mother. He made a mental note to call his mother later, when he was healthier.

Wonwoo didn't realize he was eating so well until Mingyu touched his wrist and smiled happily looking at him.

"Mingyu, thank you. These are really delicious! This is not even the first time I eat your cooking, but it feels like it."

"I'm happy that you like it. I deliberately crafted the flavor stronger, so it would warm your chest and relieve your nose," Mingyu genuinely smiled.

His heart indeed feels warm, both literally and figuratively. A few moments ago, Wonwoo had wanted Mingyu to leave his life, but when he saw Mingyu smile and showering him with all sincere attention, he really wanted Mingyu to stay in his life.

Wonwoo didn't understand himself. Wonwoo didn't understand his own emotion. Wonwoo didn't understand why he wanted to keep Mingyu as much as he wanted him to go.

After he finished eating, Wonwoo took the medicines prepared by Mingyu. When he tidied up the dining table, Mingyu grabbed his wrist, stopping him from what he was doing.

"Just leave it to me. You need to sleep, hyung. Just try to get some, okay?"

"But—"

"Wonwoo-hyung, I'm here to take care of you. This once, please let me do so." Mingyu looked into his eyes, moved closer, and never let go of his hand.

"Okay," Wonwoo whispered, his mind trying to lose its sanity. "Thank you, Mingyu."

Wonwoo returned to his room and he really tried to sleep. He closed his eyes in the hope of finding peace inside his mind and stopped thinking about things that made his head hurt even more. And thankfully the effect of the medicines started to kick in, his eyelids felt really heavy and finally Wonwoo closed his eyes and rested in his sleep.

Wonwoo woke up to the noise outside his room. He repeatedly rubbed his eyes and tried to gather his consciousness. When he slowly moved his body to get out of bed, a wet towel fell to his lap. He touched his forehead and found it also wet. Mingyu must have tried to bring his body temperature back to normal from time to time.

The noise disappeared and Wonwoo continued his effort to get up from his bed and find Mingyu. When he stood up, it felt like suddenly he couldn't move his leg as his body felt weak that made him bounce back and sit on the edge of the bed. He needed to gather his strength before standing up and walking out the room, so he closed his eyes to do so.

After a couple of minutes, when he was about to stand up, there were hands gripping both of his wrists, holding him to move. When he opened his eyes, Mingyu was kneeling in front of him.

"Where are you going, hyung?" Mingyu looked directly into Wonwoo's eyes, concern implied in his voice.

"Mingyu."

"Did you wake up because of the noise? I'm sorry, hyung."

"It's fine," Wonwoo answered weakly.

"Now that you're awake, it's time to check your temperature again," Mingyu took the thermometer on the nightstand and put it on Wonwoo's palm.

Wonwoo turned on the thermometer and he was about to bring the thermometer under his arm when he became aware of Mingyu's gaze following his movement. Wonwoo suddenly felt self-conscious. He stopped his hand right before slipping the thermometer through his collar.

"Mingyu, I'm sorry, but—can you not look at me when I do it?" Wonwoo couldn't look at Mingyu's eyes, his ears turned red from embarrassment.

"Oh—I'm sorry," Mingyu quickly replied. He turned his hips to face the opposite direction to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo put the thermometer under his arm and after a few seconds the device showed thirty-seven degrees for the result. He nudged Mingyu's arm and after the latter turned his body back to face him, Wonwoo gave the thermometer. Mingyu exhaled in relief after he read the result.

_Why are you so worried about me, Mingyu? Why? Please don't make me fall even deeper in you. Please go and leave me alone. Alone . . . no, I don't wanna be alone anymore. Mingyu, please help me. Help me to mend what's been broken. Help me._

Seungcheol. Suddenly his mind ran to Seungcheol. Every pain, every tear always led his head to Seungcheol. Every memory he created with Seungcheol always followed him like an uninvited shadow. He remembered how Seungcheol always gave willingly all he had to make Wonwoo happy.

He remembered how Seungcheol sacrificed his dream just to make Wonwoo smile. He remembered how Seungcheol tried to convince him to marry him. And Wonwoo would never forget how happy he was with Seungcheol.

Seungcheol always came to mind and it was always like that when he wanted to open his heart for Mingyu. His vulnerability eating him up to the point his heart was so empty, he was scared to be loved, he was scared to be held, he was scared everything would turn to dusk.

Wonwoo realized that everything must be so beautiful in the beginning. But they would never know how it might end. That was exactly what happened between him and Mingyu that time. Wonwoo was too afraid to peek at what was in the store for him. Wonwoo really wanted Mingyu to stop. Wonwoo really wanted Mingyu to walk away from him.

"Hyung? Why are you being extremely quiet? You scared me. Do you feel any pain? Headache? Anything?" Mingyu's voice brought back his mind that was taken away with the memories and insecurities. Mingyu might have caught the unpleasant feelings emanating from Wonwoo.

Wonwoo shook his head hesitantly. "How long did I sleep?"

Mingyu glanced at the clock. "It's been 4 hours.You must be hungry by now. I'll prepare the dinner for you, okay?"

Mingyu was about to stand up when Wonwoo grabbed his wrist hastily. Wonwoo ventured to look at Mingyu's face which plastered with confusion.

"I . . . Mingyu, I—" Wonwoo bit his cheeks and fought the urge to cry. He wanted to tell Mingyu to leave but it hurt so much that he didn't know what to do, including finishing the sentence.

Mingyu returned to his kneeling position in front of Wonwoo. He stroked Wonwoo's head tenderly. "Hyung, whatever you have in mind right now, can you keep it until you become healthier? Like, tomorrow maybe? I promise we will talk about anything that bothers your mind. But right now, just do everything I say to make you feel better, okay?"

Wonwoo gulped, his throat felt dry and he couldn't make himself talk.

"I'll take your silence as a yes." Mingyu gently patted Wonwoo's hand on his wrist. "Wait for me, okay?"

Wonwoo released his hand from Mingyu and the latter left the room with an unfamiliar smile he couldn't read.

Not long after Mingyu, Wonwoo left the room and sat in the living room that can be seen from his kitchen. His eyes felt heavy, his chest felt tight. He was still contemplating his feelings.

Not long after reverie took him away, Wonwoo realized that the apartment was very clean, things were neatly arranged, even though some were out of place. Wonwoo recalled the noise that had woken him up the moment he saw a misplaced vacuum cleaner that looked like it had been used.

"Mingyu, were you tidying up my apartment?" Wonwoo asked, turned his head toward Mingyu who was busy preparing food in the kitchen.

"I did, hyung."

"Why?" Wonwoo looked sternly at Mingyu.

"Just . . . killing time? Waiting for you to wake up?"

"Why? You didn't have to do that. You can just sit there and wait for me to wake up, Mingyu. You can even leave. Why did you choose to take care of my stuff?" Wonwoo involuntarily raised his voice in frustration.

"Hyung, what's the big deal about that? Why are you being like this?" Mingyu replied, both confusion and concern reflected on his face.

That was it. The question made Wonwoo bring himself to reach Mingyu at the kitchen. He turned off the stove and forced himself to face Mingyu.

"I can't wait until tomorrow. Let's talk. This hurts my head so much."

Mingyu didn't speak a word. He froze at his stand with confusion and disappointment implied in a blank expression.

"Why?" Wonwoo broke the silence after a minute that felt like forever.

"Why, what?"

"Why don't you leave me when you already know that I carry so much baggage in my life?"

"Wonwoo . . ."

The honorific was off the table. Mingyu was taking his question seriously.

"Kim Mingyu, my life is a mess and you know it. But _why_ are you being like this? It's so confusing, you really hurt my head," Wonwoo grabbed his hair, he leaned his head desperately on the cupboard as if he wasn't strong enough to endure throbbing pain inside his head.

Mingyu grabbed Wonwoo's wrist, trying to pull Wonwoo's hand away from his hair. "Wonwoo, stop. Stop hurting yourself."

"It doesn't matter," Wonwoo whispered under his breath.

"What?" Mingyu snapped. Mingyu was indeed stronger than Wonwoo which made him give up and let go of his hand as Mingyu gripped both of his wrists firmly.

"Just answer my question, Mingyu," Wonwoo continued, desperation was eating him alive in front of Mingyu whom regardless of whatever relationship they were hanging, he is his office-mate. But he didn't care anymore. He wanted clarity to get on with his life.

Mingyu exhaled a long breath heavily. "Wonwoo, please stop—please don't ask me why, don't ask me the reason, because I don't—I don't know the answer either. All I know is, I want to make you happy. It's that simple."

Wonwoo cried silently hearing those words. He hated uncertainty too much that made him let his tough self be weak for Mingyu. The intention to convey his heart was getting bigger but his mouth betrayed him, his body betrayed him that made him just stand weakly and cried his heart out.

"Wonwoo," Mingyu held Wonwoo's wrists tighter, "if only I could answer your question. I don't know the reason why I care so much about you, why I don't want to hurt you and don't want you to get hurt. Why I want to take care of you. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out my own feelings. Please give me time to answer your question, okay? Because that's what I'm doing for myself—giving time."

Wonwoo realized that he needed to brace himself and speak for the last time. If Mingyu really had to go, the sooner, the better. Wonwoo had to protect himself.

"What about me then?" Wonwoo looked straight at Mingyu's eyes with his watery eyes.

"What about you?" Mingyu was perplexed. Wonwoo knew Mingyu was desperately trying to understand all the devastating feelings.

"If I don't push you away now, and someday I become attached to your presence, and in the end of our story you will be the one who left me because it turns out you can't deal with me and everything that comes with me, then what should I do?" Wonwoo stopped and he exhaled a long breath before continuing, "Mingyu, I'm sorry, but I really hope you can understand my feelings even though I know I'm being selfish. But the divorce is too painful for me, Mingyu. Everything I built was destroyed just like that. I have entrusted my life to a person that I thought would save me forever, but everything collapsed in front of my eyes. I will never be able to face that again. Forgive me."

"Wonwoo," Mingyu held Wonwoo's face with both hands gently, "if someday we can't make things work, if we aren't meant to be together, I would still be by your side. I would be there until you can find someone else who can do better than I do to open your heart. I won't leave you to suffer alone. I won't promise anything, but you know me, I'll try hard to make it work for both of us. In the meantime, just give ourselves time to understand each other's feelings. And please do me a favor, don't push me away, will you? That's all I ask. "

Wonwoo stared at Mingyu with such overwhelming feelings. He was scared and heartbroken, but he was happy at the same time. Mingyu knew the scar in his heart hadn't fully recovered, he knew how frightened Wonwoo was of commitment in a relationship, but Mingyu still wanted to stay.

"Don't lie to me, Mingyu," Wonwoo whispered, hesitation implied in his voice.

"No. I would never," Mingyu caressed Wonwoo's cheek softly, "Wonwoo, I would never leave unless you ask me to. Now now, tomorrow, never."

"I'm afraid, Mingyu. Of everything. Including you."

"I know. But I'm not gonna leave you alone. Unless . . . do you want me to?" Mingyu's voice was trembling, Wonwoo could feel Mingyu was suddenly weakened.

Wonwoo struggled in his heart. That was the thing he feared the most, when the biggest question that bothered him was declared clearly by the only person he meant the question for.

"I don't know," Wonwoo admitted. It was very painful to picture Mingyu getting out of his life. He'd known Mingyu for such a short time, but it hurted so much even just to imagine it.

Mingyu was the first person who approached Wonwoo affectionately after Seungcheol left. What Wonwoo had for Mingyu was a crush, but the bud of feeling was growing into a flower before he knew it.

Mingyu knocked the door in Wonwoo's heart, which he had closed since Seungcheol left, slowly and patiently. Wonwoo realized Mingyu was right about the time. Not only Mingyu who needed it, Wonwoo also needed the time to finish whatever he had with Seungcheol at that time.

After a long silence, Mingyu let go of his hand off Wonwoo's face, he smiled tenderly, veiling the obvious sadness on his face. "I will leave, then."

"I said I don't know!" Wonwoo unconsciously raised his voice in panic, his blood streamed erratically in his heart, his body became limp and he couldn't function properly.

"Meaning a part of you wanted me to, right?"

Wonwoo fell silent, he couldn't answer the question because it was true. Still everything was agonizing when his negative thoughts turned to reality. He couldn't breathe properly, his chest felt heavy and it was suffocating. His throat was hoarse, as if somebody strangled him.

Wonwoo lost it when Mingyu was stretching the distance between them and about to leave him, "Don't go!"

Mingyu stopped his step and turned to see Wonwoo.

"Don't leave. Please," Wonwoo pleaded.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Time. I also need it, so I'm not being a jerk like this. Thus I'll also figure out my feelings. For myself—for you."

Wonwoo certainly couldn't think straight at the moment. Like a lost kitten, he was afraid the only person who accepted him would go. Perhaps time was what he needed. Perhaps time would help him to heal his broken part. And perhaps time could answer his questions someday.

Mingyu strode his steps toward Wonwoo.

"Can I hug you?" Mingyu asked as Wonwoo found a way back to Mingyu's gaze when they faced each other once more. Wonwoo was aware of hesitation in Mingyu's voice.

Wonwoo nodded silently for the answer, no longer cared about the noise inside his head and the chaos in his heart. He tried to get rid of all his bad thoughts and what he needed at that moment was a piece of amenity.

Mingyu opened his hands and pulled Wonwoo into his arms. As if Mingyu's hug was created for him, Wonwoo drowned comfortably, nuzzling his head in the crook of the latter's neck. Mingyu's masculine scent that perfectly wrapped his large frame let Wonwoo sink into an intoxicating embrace that he never wanted to escape. He could feel Mingyu pressing his lips on the top of his head.

"I'll stay. I want to stay. Please don't push me away, Wonwoo. We'll figure it out together," Mingyu comforted Wonwoo who tightened his arms around Mingyu as if he won't let him go. Wonwoo didn't want Mingyu to go. At least for that time.

"Let's eat. You have to take your meds," Mingyu stroke Wonwoo's hair tenderly.

Wonwoo nodded but didn't let go of the hug. It felt so delightful that he didn't want it to be taken away from him. Wonwoo knew he was so selfish, he even must've hurt Mingyu, but he couldn't help it. He hoped everything would turn out well for both of them.

Opening his heart was always a roll of the dice, but he couldn't care less at that moment. What Wonwoo knew, even then, he didn't want to let Mingyu go, he wanted to be able to hold him tightly without caring about the world.

"Hey, now it's my turn to ask," Mingyu said without entangling his arms from Wonwoo.

"What?" Wonwoo whispered in anticipation.

"Can I stay the night?"

"Thought you'd never asked."

Wonwoo felt Mingyu tighten their hug and he kissed his temple softly, causing him to smile happily at the act.

Wonwoo found comfort in Mingyu. He found candor in Mingyu. He found sincere affection deriving from Mingyu. Wonwoo found Mingyu.

**Author's Note:**

> Ask me anything!  
> https://curiouscat.qa/bloomngbluebell


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